The Art of Calm: Why What Annoys You Makes You Stronger

You are wiser because you went through something terrible. And you are the person who survived a bunch of rainstorms and kept walking. ―  Taylor Swift

 

You may not think you have a lot in common with celebrities, but we can all learn from them when it comes to dealing with annoyances in a healthy way. So when you see someone famous act calmly when dealing with their distractors ― or when they blow up at them! ― take note and see what you can learn.

Why learn from what annoys you? Read on!

Learning from what annoys you reinforces resilience.

Research by psychologists in the University of Buffalo has concluded that “small amounts of trauma can make us more resilient” though too much trauma can be depressing. Occasional spikes in annoyance, anger or sadness can, however, make you tougher.

For example, consider Harry Potter author JK Rowling. The first book in the biggest-selling book series, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, was rejected at least 9 times by publishers in the UK. She was told that writing is not a stable career and that she should get a day job. Fast forward a few years later: she became the first billionaire author and her creation has generated a movie franchise, lots of merchandise, and a theme park. A theme park.

Learning from what annoys you makes you more tolerant.

Getting annoyed builds your tolerance for even more annoyance. You can practice getting better at dealing with annoying to the point that it becomes almost a habit to brush annoyance off. Brushing off annoyance instead of becoming angry will allow you to make better decisions under pressure if even something annoying is happening.

Learning from what annoys you can help you identify what you want to get better at.

Self-efficacy is the belief that a person has the ability and capability to solve a problem in any future situation. Self-efficacy, however, is different from actually having the skill. For example: you think of yourself as a cook. If you’re a cook and your cooking ability is higher than your self-efficacy, you won’t be irritated at your cooking skills.

If your cooking ability is lower than your self-efficacy, however ― how you perceive your abilities as a cook ― you will have room for improvement and that will then challenge you to improve your cooking. Your annoyance at your relative mediocrity is your motivation, and it will help you to achieve your goals.

What annoys you and how do you use it to your advantage?

For more information:

http://positivesharing.com/2007/05/how-not-to-let-annoying-people-annoy-you/
http://www.dailystar.co.uk/showbiz/440758/Pain-makes-you-stronger-Taylor-Swift-hurt
http://www.alleydog.com/topics/motivation.php#.VZ4rUn2zkXg
http://bigthink.com/60-second-reads/cognitive-reappraisal-what-doesnt-kill-you-makes-you-stronger
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2075908/So-Nietzsche-WAS-right-What-doesnt-kill-makes-stronger-scientists-find.html


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