Whether in your personal life or at work, you would most likely prefer to be surrounded by people you enjoy being around. Here are a few suggestions on how to achieve that:
• Tune into people, turn off electronics. Don’t put your phone between you and the person you’re talking with. Silence it and don’t answer texts. Give the person you’re with your full attention. If they’re not worth that, why are you bothering in the first place? Save your time and theirs. Yes, of course there are exceptions for true emergencies, and in those rare situations you should explain the situation to your friend, date, interviewee. Yes, even if you are in charge of hiring, be polite. You’ll scare off quality candidates if you aren’t.
• Take the time to get to know someone. Don’t dismiss anyone right off by stereotyping, judging clothing, etc. Really feel into who the human being is before making a decision on whether to hire/date/befriend. Yes, feel. Our instincts are frequently dead-on right about someone.
• Be the person you want to attract. If you’re dishonest, for example, you will attract dishonest people. Being honest with yourself is a good place to start: Are you someone you’d want to hire, be friends with, or date?
• Offer something different and make it clear what that difference is. What sets you apart? Don’t be boastful, but do be confidently aware of what you bring to the table. Don’t be shy about graciously letting the person you’re with know how you and/or your business are different.
• Understand what traits complement yours and consider looking for those in someone else. Are you analytical? Maybe someone who’s more artistic would make a good match for you, either personally or in business.
• Stay open regardless of where you are. Would the smart and enthusiastic checkout clerk be an asset to your company? Would the friendly guy or gal ahead of you in line at the coffee shop make a good date? Go through life aware of your surroundings. Be present to those around you and watch the magic that happens.
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• Ask questions. Don’t interrupt to do so, but use whatever was said as a launching point for the next part of the conversation. People love to talk about themselves, and you’ll learn a lot about whether you want this person in your life if you listen – truly listen with all of your senses – to what they’re saying. You’ll also come across as engaging and interesting, so if you do want to keep them around, you’ll be more likely to be able to do so. It’s a win-win.
What types of people do you want to attract into your life and how are you doing it?