Surrounding yourself with people who support your goals is a great way to make accomplishing them easier. Beyond that, it just makes life itself easier and happier!
You might not always be able to extricate yourself from an unsupportive relationship, but being aware of who is helpful and who isn’t will help you direct your time and energy toward the right people.
How do you know if the people you have in your life support you? Whether you’re reflecting on a boss, co-worker, friend, or romantic partner, here are some factors to consider:
1. Do you feel competent? When we’re striving to accomplish a goal, exploring a dream, or learning a new skill, we’re all a bit off balance. Who makes you feel good about your efforts? On the other hand, who tells you you’re not doing it fast enough, smart enough, or good enough?
2. Do you feel empowered? Who makes you feel like you can conquer the world and take on anyone or anything? On the other hand, who brings up your past mistakes every time you want to try something new?
3. Who makes you feel like your needs are valid? On the other hand, who makes you feel needy? Who makes you feel foolish for wanting something?
4. Who will still be there even if you fail? On the other hand, who makes you afraid to fail?
5. Who encourages you to stay healthy in mind, body, and spirit? On the other hand, who gossips and talks negatively? Who encourages you to drink too much, or otherwise treat your body badly?
Keep in mind that sometimes those who support us the most are the ones willing to tell it to us straight when we need to hear it. Just because a friend blows sunshine at you doesn’t mean he or she supports you, and in fact it’s often the opposite. But if you’re constantly hearing about what you’re doing wrong and not what you do right, then it might be time to navigate away from the relationship as best you can.
Who are your most supportive friends? Least? How can you redistribute your time and energy to focus on the more helpful people in your life?