You realize one day that you’re keeping up with your best friend through Facebook posts….and only Facebook posts. You haven’t talked in months.
Or maybe you had a huge falling out with a close friend several weeks ago, and now you feel a huge gap in your life.
How can you save the friendship?
1. Be honest with your friend. If the friendship has faded, reach out and reestablish contact. Make it clear that you miss him or her and want the relationship back in your life.
If you had a falling out, reach out and say that you’d like to work things out.
Calling is more personal than email, and email is better than texting or a message on Facebook. Show that you care, not that you want to put minimal effort into mending the situation.
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2. Be honest with yourself. Did you do something that might have caused the friendship to fade? Were you at fault in the argument? If so, then you might have more work to do to save the friendship, and being honest about your own feelings behind your own bad behavior is a good step in creating a sincere apology to fix things.
3. Be aware that they may be clueless. Sometimes people hurt people without even knowing it. If you’re angry about something, there is some chance the other person has no idea. What was a blowup to you might be insignificant to them; what was a slight to you might have gone unnoticed by them.
Be straightforward and non-accusatory when bringing up the subject. Give the other person a chance to explain what happened, and you’ll likely get back on track with your friendship.
4. Act immediately. As soon as you realize something is wrong, do something to fix it. People get busy and caught up in their own lives, and if the friendship is important to you, then it’s worth being proactive to save it.
Have you ever almost lost a friendship? What did you do to save it?
(Read How to Find Good Friends, the first in a 4-part friendship series. This is the second of 4 articles).